D had suffered the loss of a close friend. He had been surprised by how much he had cried, and wondered whether he had been crying for himself or his friend. He thought this release of emotion very important for men. He had held his friend's hand in hospital, willing him to live. At the funeral, mourners could write a note. D had written: "Up United from an Arsenal supporter ". That was love, he said. In his grief, a poem had come to him which he wrote down.
Z had not managed the exercise at all, but had been giving attention more to what was eating her and where her consciousness was going, and had found that more useful. She had found it really helpful at the last Meeting, when we were reading and paused so that different people could express their thoughts on the text.
T had found the transitory nature of the exercise (lasting for the just the brief instant the liquid strikes the tongue), a reminder and symbol of the transitory nature of life, how one second we are alive and the next second, we are dead.
RM likewise had found the exercise difficult; he had been counting steps while walking, or at home, and over time feels he is becoming more present.
L spoke of a friend who had been considering coming to the previous month's Meeting. He found out a few days later that she had died on the morning of the Meeting. This was somebody quite well and vibrant, a fellow artist. This reinforced in him the importance of fulfilling one's creative aspirations in the present, as she had been doing, rather than waiting till some future time - this had been a topic of discussion last time.
GC had found it impossible to do the exercise. He had remembered it before and after the moment of drinking. Although he had suggested the exercise, it had come to him "out of the blue".
P had found the exercise very difficult, although she would sometimes have it in mind before drinking her coffee. She was intending to continue with this difficult exercise.
[Removed at the request of BS.]
S said she was new to the meeting, but had originally read "In Search of the Miraculous" in Japanese, a long time ago. Recently she had come across this book again, and resumed the practice of self-remembering, which she had been finding very difficult. Since resuming this practice, she had been having vivid dreams. She had been considering the distinction between thought and emotion.
The meeting then turned to responses to the contributions.
Since his bereavement, D has been doing more creative work. Before he was lackadaisical about it, now he feels it is spiritually important. L's music comes to mind. It is an issue becoming relevant to mental health. Writing is a form of self-awareness. It is important to have a balance between being and doing. One cannot deny one's emotional content. He felt freed by all the crying. His friend had died because he could not express his emotions. He had suffered from high blood pressure. Developers sacrifice their lives for their designs.
RM has found it extraordinary how we are becoming more aware of the human condition. We are aware of how difficult it is. The first thing is to know that you are in a prison. We need a shock to get us to want to wake up. Without the shock it will not happen. You have to hit a really hard place. He can remember himself when drinking. At a Gurdjieff school he once attended, they kept changing the exercise to keep it unexpected.
GC asked, "What is the human condition?"
 |
| By Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, from "The Little Prince". |
GC said it was knowledge of mortality, our three score years and ten.
L said it was also about loneliness and solitude. As far as we know we are alone in the universe. Even after we colonise the planets, the stars will be too far away to visit.
At 9:45 the reading from Beelzebub's Tales continued.
AFTER the captain had gone, Beelzebub glanced at his grandson and, noticing his unusual state, asked him solicitously and with some anxiety:
"What is the matter, my dear boy? What are you thinking so deeply about?"
Looking up at his Grandfather with eyes full of sorrow, Hassein said thoughtfully:
"I don't know what is the matter with me, my dear Grandfather, but your talk with the captain of the ship has brought me to some exceedingly melancholy thoughts...
Only now have I come very clearly to understand that everything we have at the present time and everything we use – in a word, all the contemporary amenities and everything necessary for our comfort and welfare – have not always existed and did not make their appearance so easily.
"It seems that certain beings in the past have during very long periods labored and suffered very much for this, and endured a great deal which perhaps they even need not have endured."
Hassein continues:
"...And so, my dear and kind Grandfather, now that owing to your conversation with the captain, I have gradually, with all my presence, become aware of all this, there has arisen in me, side by side with this, the need to make clear to my Reason why I personally have all the comforts which I now use, and what obligations I am under for them."
L commented that he was beginning to see a possible symbolic meaning in the roles of the main characters. Does the Captain symbolise reason, and Beelzebub wisdom? This might be an additional set of metaphors to add to the description of the spaceship's propulsion system which is reminiscent of Freud's allusion to thermodynamics in his psychodynamic model of the human mind. The Captain keeps coming and getting called away, which may symbolise the difficulty of maintaining attention.
RM said the captain may symbolise action. The child symbolises discovery. and sadness about taking everything in the world for granted; and also experiences guilt and awe of existence - everything seems magical or miraculous to him. We are attempting to wake up. D queried if it was necessary to bring in guilt, which we tend to project onto us.
Following the reading, it was decided to repeat the exercise of the previous month, but to extend the period until the drink has been finished.
