Digesting the Difficult

The Meeting began with a silence of one minute, as suggested by T.

Each person present, in turn, then gave a timed two-minute account of relevant experiences over the previous month.

D spoke about his absence in the meetings over the last two months. He had been very busy and very exhausted by the busyness. On one of the meeting days he had been out of London in connection with his creative work. He has been self-observing his "highs and lows" - how high they were and how low they were - and how he was not in control of their occurrence. He had been reading Beelzebub's Tales and could not make up his mind whether it is rubbish, or esoteric and deep.

BW had been acting in a play, and in working to embody the character he portrays on stage, he adopted some aspects of the role out of context. The character is not pleasant and he had found this practice disturbing and was now keeping it separate from normal life. This had raised issues of what was the identity of his own nature and where playing a role starts and stops.

T has been working overtime on Thursdays which makes her late home and late to sleep. She has analysed a schedule for Thursdays to protect the Friday studio day from the usual exhausted state, which she feels is a self-sabotage which provides a rationale for not working on her own painting. However last Thursday the same happened, and she will continue trying to solve this issue.

M had been trying a meditation technique based on going backward through the day's experience. This led him to fall asleep. On waking he tried it again, and on this occasion eventually entered a new state where he felt he was engaging in a conversation, in which the other party was responding with intelligent answers.

L had found significance in the anecdote about the Transcaucasian Kurd, which portrays the tendency he is aware of in himself, to devote attention to things of low importance persistently rather than focus on what matters. This happens on many levels. How hard it is to let go of possessions which have been accumulated unnecessarily. How often do people eat food from the fridge which is past its sell-by date, rather than let it go? While the passage is a cautionary note to the prospective reader, it also refers to the psychological issue.

"R"'s main activity has been being with her mother who is rarely conscious now. Her work is to be physically present in her body whilst sitting, without speaking, trying to keep her mind from replaying old conversations. She puts her hand on her mother's shoulder, which is liked.

L read out the contribution from BS [Removed at the request of BS.]

There followed a general discussion in response to the two minute contributions.

Responding to "R", L mentioned that he has recently been reading a newly discovered suitcase of old family letters from thirty-five years ago. In one, a man in his eighties is reflecting that the only important thing is surviving the physical issues of each day. These are the things that matter most, rather than dreams and plans.

Developing his comments on meditation, M recalled a similar experience, in a dream, where he found himself in conversation with his grandfather (who was thought of as a wise rabbi), and said he wished he had been able to ask him questions whilst he was alive. His grandfather replied that he wished he had been around while Jesus was alive, as he would have wanted to ask him a thing or two!

Consideration was given to providing internet links for people who wished to attend remotely, although it was agreed that being in contact with others locally involved in the Work was important.

L said the Meetings were thus called advisedly, being an introduction to the ideas and writings of Gurdjieff, people humbly touching base each month to bring attention to the Work in an individual's everyday life; in contrast a "Gurdjieff Group" would describe a more dedicated approach involving Gurdjieff's "Movements" exercises. "R" explained that a Group would typically meet weekly, and involve preliminary discussions before a new member is admitted.

The reading of Beelzebub's Tales then continued. Based on earlier experience of M, in which a deck of playing cards was used to select randomly who reads next, it was decided on this occasion to read a paragraph in turn, clockwise round the table.

" ... I just now again remember the story of what happened to a Transcaucasian Kurd, ... in the market ... he noticed one 'fruit', very beautiful in both color and form, ... he decided to buy without fail at least one of these gifts of Great Nature, and taste it. ... very soon everything inside him began to burn. But in spite of this he kept on eating... a fellow villager of his ... said to him: 'What are you doing, you Jericho jackass? You'll be burnt alive!' ... But our Kurd replied: 'No, for nothing on Earth will I stop. Didn't I pay my last two cents for them? Even if my soul departs from my body I shall still go on eating.' "

B commented that it was hard to fathom the meaning apart from the obvious one of the hot red pepper story, and was also perplexed by Gurdjieff seeming to introduce and engage, but then turn away the reader.

T thought the anecdote was a parable about the text - that what it had to say should to be taken in small bites and only as a part of a complete meal. She then asked the question, but what in this context is the complete meal? She thought that everything outside of the reading of a text, i.e. the rest of one's life that is lived every day, makes up the whole meal.

L recalled Gurdjieff's advice at the beginning of the book to read it three times in different ways, and "R" read that section out. (See the June 2011 report, end of the second paragraph.)

The reading continued:

"And so, I have already composed in my head the plan and sequence of the intended expositions, but what form they will take on paper, I, speaking frankly, myself do not as yet know with my consciousness ... it will take the form of something which will be, so to say, 'hot', and will have an effect on the entirety of every reader such as the red pepper pods had on the poor Transcaucasian Kurd."

L suggested that Gurdjieff's aim was to reach the reader's subconscious.

T said that nine-tenths of Gurdjieff's writings do not seem to go in for her, and the one tenth is often only one or two grounded and maybe emotive words that stand out almost as if out of context, but which then lead her back to review the text again to see these familiar words in the broader or deeper text.