RM found he had been protecting his whole identity. He was seeing it with a degree of humour. It was a way of letting go. Being locked in at home more had given him an opportunity to be much more self aware, being present for his condition, and it was helping him focus on the things that were of real value in life.
| Each day, after getting up, look around for one minute, and find one thing you have been protecting that has no lasting relevance or value. Thank it for its contribution and let it go. At the same time, consider the situation we are in because of the virus, and think of something you can be grateful for which has come as a consequence. |
T had managed two disposals. A gifted book from a strange family relationship that continued to cause emotional pain. and she had let that go so she was not reminded when she looked at it, which obviously you do subconsciously even if you are not aware of looking at it. And very expensive body butters and salt scrubs in beautiful jars, which had gathered three years of dust because she didn't particularly like them. There were two or three times as many things she wasn't able to get rid of. She had created a dilemma box years before with the thought that she would re-evaluate them (and never did). That was very, very dusty, and now they were washed and shined, and visible in the home. She had realised it was about attachment, and somehow if she let them go it would be letting part of her go, and the idea that something malign was out there that could destroy it. It was almost like the object was her, and she was the object. From the Covid lockdown, she was grateful for the shakeup of values, questioning habits, enforced reflection, but also reconnection with the Earth rather than the world, and buying a bike!
Like everyone, N had had more time to reflect, more time to study, more time to work on himself, more time to get more perspective on his life. He had enjoyed going out in nature, having more walks than he would normally have done. He had enjoyed the experience of just having a different lifestyle for a period of time.
L had given away, or thrown away, quite a lot of things, and had made a note of how long he had kept them. One thing he had kept for 35 years. He had not been allowed to get rid of that. Some books on music, he had kept for 20 years. An old floppy disk, 27 years. An old CD, 30 years. He also made a note each time of what he had been valuing, what he was grateful for. These were the clean air on Hampstead Heath, less traffic noise, opportunity to spend more time at home, not having to commute, more time and easier to think and plan, learning more about friends, getting out of a rut, and experiencing a holiday at home. He thought there was a lot to be grateful for. It could be very hard to let these old things go, they were very sticky, but he thought it was worth it.
Responding to what N said about walking more in nature, T said we had such an extreme at the moment of being more connected with the natural world, and likewise with the technological world, being connected with it, and we were missing the middle ground, the community centre. What was it about being present in a room with another person that was so meaningful?
The reading then continued from Chapter 29 of Beelzebub's Tales.
... productions from ancient times have almost ceased to exist on that ill-fated planet.
This latter occurred because for various Hasnamussian purposes and for their famous, as they call them, ‘scientific aims,’ they collected the surviving ancient productions from all countries and, not knowing how to preserve ancient objects, they only hastened their speedy destruction.
But they used and still use those ‘antiques’ they collected as ‘models’ for ‘cheap goods’ which are everywhere known on that ill-fated planet by the name of ‘Ersatz.’
N thought Gurdjieff was advising scepticism about science. Books by people like Richard Dawkins or Stephen Hawking were very interesting, but had a very limited viewpoint. N thought this kind of cynicism about science was healthy and a good thing.
... And when this chemical substance, called atropine, is in a certain way introduced into the eyes of beings the pupils become dilated and darker; and, because of this, most of them introduce this atropine into their eyes, in order that their faces may appear good and pleasing to others.
And truly, my dear boy, those terrestrial beings who introduce this ‘German blessing’ into their eyes do have very ‘dark eyes’ until they are forty-five.
J asked what was he saying that people think, other than that you make yourself as attractive as you can, by means of hypnotising yourself into thinking that you are. What was he getting at here? RM said it was about creating a mantle that was not actually ours. As a young man he had wanted to appear wealthy, so every Sunday, he went out on the balcony of a five star hotel in his best suit, picked a cigar and smoked that, and found the cheapest thing on the menu, it was all he could afford. So he created a mantle of wealth that made him feel good. The text was saying that what we tend to do is create this false image by colouring ourselves, or making our eyes darker, to give an impression which is not truly ourselves. If we deviate from the fundamental essence of ourselves by creating a false mantle, it is a false personality. T said it works until 45, but then it is downhill all the way! It was self-destructive action, although it appears to be constructive. L said it also suggests that these people can no longer see clearly. It was talking about the primary organ of perception, which is the basis for what we think. It was about self-delusion, a deliberate self-delusion. RM said when you start believing your own mantle, that's a problem, because it's self-delusion. He had found people rented houses way above their means, and they got more and more into debt, just to create an image, keeping up with the Joneses. So they had this false mantle, false personality, and at some point they ended up with a crash, past 45, ran out of money, gone into debt, and they didn't even look the part because of their age.
