Must or Dust

D announced that he had solved the problem of the distracting intercom. It had been taken off the wall. He felt born again. After enduring it for three and a half years, his health was now improved, and he was able to work better. He also wanted to share a very inspiring video, "We Are Star Dust", by Symphony of Science, which had greatly moved him.



L commented that the reading from Beelzebub's Tales to his Grandson was particularly difficult at this stage in the book, and that this may be deliberate. Gurdjieff had not only asserted that the sun is cold, which we know to be untrue, but had also introduced a plethora of long, made-up words which made it very difficult to hold on to any meaning. He wondered if the author had based his structure on the enneagram, which would explain why, at particular parts of the journey, it would require extra energy to persist. He expressed interest in analysing the proportion of the book thus far read, to see if it fitted the expected locations of resistance in the enneagram symbol. With regards to the exercise for the previous month, L said he had been getting limited benefits and favoured doing exercises derived directly from Gurdjieff's thinking rather than those who wrote about him or from other sources.

RM had taken to doing his one-minute meditation exercise at night, and had found it was sometimes leading to lucid dreaming. He used to experience this in his teens, but lost it, perhaps because he was afraid of it. Now it was coming back and he was attributing this to the practice of being present. He described still feeling fear but has consciously continued with self observation.

T said she had recently become exhausted and learned she has a vitamin deficiency which made her aware that health issues can affect the whole person, and of how the intricate the body is and how it all has to be working in order to be present at another level. This had affected her thinking and her memory of the experiences she had been having during the first couple of weeks of the month, and it would take a few months to be righted through the gradual introduction of the vitamin she has been missing.

"R" had not been at the Meeting last time, but had tried to do what RM suggested. As one of her teachers used to advise, "Plunge straight in". But she found it did not work for her. One minute was not enough to elicit an effort. For beginners it was a wonderful introduction because it is possible, for her time was needed for a sense of aim, and to sense the body. She had returned to her morning preparation, a session of fifteen minutes, sensing the body all over, and synchronising with breathing.

The Meeting then moved to responses to the contributions.

T reminded D that he had put a lot of effort into getting the intercom removed. He could have taken the easy way out and moved. It reminded her of "R"'s words on effort. "R" said that people are how they are. They are asleep and cannot change. We can adapt to how they are. T said it was possible to make a conscious choice to try to change the situation. "R" thought that, as in politics, it was impossible to change people. T commented on the news report that George W Bush had taken up painting after his presidency. She remembered his ten year presidency when he was controlling other people and now he was controlling his own actions through learning to paint. She recalled Steven Pressfield's remark that it was easier for Hitler to start World War 2 than to be a painter.



T responded to L's statement that he was now getting limited benefits from the meditation exercise, suggesting that hight have reached a point of resistance where extra force or effort is needed, just as with Gurdjieff's book. For her, likewise, the painting has really come to a halt. She wondered if psychology - resistance to doing the work of painting - had become biology, i.e. physical exhaustion caused by chemical changes in the body. D said that now he had more time, he was putting off writing. He was getting bored with TV, and politics was becoming meaningless. He had been reading about lucid dreaming, and one author had suggested that dreams can be manipulated to change the world. He does not feel the need to do anything. RM said it is good to do nothing, and that he can be in the present. L referred D to the book which Ursula Leguin wrote from inspiration, The Lathe of Heaven, about a man whose dreams become real, and the movie made from it.



RM responded to "R", saying that after a while more than one minute is needed for meditation. He is doing the one minute because he is teaching it - it is an exercise, not the application, it is a trigger. Then he takes a five minute break and does a fifteen minute one like "R". He made an analogy with a fighter pilot, who after much practice gains total awareness with 360 degree vision; everything becomes one. 360 vision. To get anything done needs a trigger - people can get distracted by memories of the past, and should put their dragons on the altar of consciousness. "R" recalled that Gurdjieff said the last thing anyone wants to give up is their suffering. T said she had noticed a change in RM, who had stopped after one minute in his initial comments. RM said that we are half way between being awake and sleep. What most gurus are doing is helping people go to sleep. He wanted to know what the incentive is for waking up? L likened that question to querying the incentive for doing art, which is hard work without apparent benefit. RM said the journey has to be one of slow detachment rather than non-attachment. A doctor who felt his patient's pain would be unable to do his job. D was experiencing some detachment from activities which used to delight him more. He was no longer finding football exciting. He was able to step back and be aware of other choices and options, like writing his play. He sits with pen and and paper, and sometimes the words comes. He exerts will, as if going beyond the enneagram resistance point fa after do re me. "R" quoted Gurdjieff: "Blessed is he who has a soul, blessed is he who has none, but woe and grief to him who has it in embryo." She had been born with a sense of conscience. RM are if she was sure the world needed her. "R" said that beyond looking after ourselves, if we are born to transform course substances to finer substances, there may be people who need us to act. RM said that even your mere presence can help that process. "R" said that that is part of the Work.

L responded to D, asking if he had considered the implications of lucid dreaming? If Gurdjieff was right we are struggling to be awake. We are asleep the whole time, and it is only through will power that we can become aware we are dreaming and to some extent awake, which is analogous to developing the ability to experience lucid dreams during physical sleep.

At 9:45, the reading of Beelzebub’s Tales resumed.

...Although I have promised to explain to you, only later, all the fundamental laws of World-creation and World-maintenance in detail, yet the necessity has here arisen, to touch upon, if only briefly, the questions concerning these cosmic laws, without waiting for that special talk I promised.

T said she felt more identified with Hassein as she did not understand either. RM said it is best not to be attached to not having got it. T said she remains aware that it is fiction.

...Not only is this Etherokrilno the basis for the arising of all cosmic concentrations without exception, both large and small, but also all cosmic phenomena in general proceed during some transformation in this same fundamental cosmic substance as well as during the processes of the involution and evolution of various crystallizations ... which have obtained and still continue to obtain their prime arising from this same fundamental prime-source cosmic substance.

Ayn Rand

D remarked that he was not understanding any of the reading so far. "R" said the terms involution and evolution referred to whether materials were getting finer or not. T said that the text seemed to suggest whatever we do is working for the welfare of the Most Holy Sun Absolute, the microcosm in relation to the macrocosm. RM suggests that it has something missing. "R" said that Work is missing. RM described how in lucid dreaming the quality of his dream changed after realising he was in a dream. He stated that his experience had been that he was everybody. "R" asked RM if she existed, if she was part of him. RM said that for him everything was part of him and would end with him. L considered this an extreme in narcissism which had already been voiced by Ayn Rand, who said "I will not die, it's the world that will end", allegedly quoting a philosopher (who has not been identified).

...In order that you may be able to understand, at least approximately, concerning this Omnipresent-Okidanokh also, I must tell you, first of all, that the second fundamental cosmic law - the Sacred Triamazikamno - consists of three independent forces ...

The first, under the denomination, the 'Holy-Affirming';
The second, the 'Holy-Denying'; and
The third, the 'Holy-Reconciling.'

L commented again on the structure of the book, with the emphasis on three stages. Three levels of transformation (food, air, and emotions), three generations (a grandchild), three parts of the book, the advice to read the book three times, and so on. T was reminded of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost trinity in Gurdjieff's choice of Beelzebub, the Father, skipping the Son, and talking directly to the essential self, the holy ghost or spirit, personified by the young grandson, Hassein.

RM described his image of a mirror, through which self sees image. The mirror represents the holy ghost. Awareness was at the hub of the chariot wheel. T quoted the biblical description of humans being created in the image of God and how she had, in the past, taken this literally, i.e. that because we look how we do, then God would have human form, features and senses too. RM suggested that the original meaning of the phrase was that we were made in the imagination of God; that God has imaged us.

Following the reading it was decided that the exercise for the ensuing month would be to give consideration to and to practice enunciating the invented words thus far used in the current chapter.