Looking backward

EXERCISE “ To notice each day a thought which seems to arise of its own accord and try to see where it comes from.”

D had been attending a class which described the Aymara tribe's concept of time - that the past was in front of us, while the future was behind us because it had yet to come. People projected their minds and their history on to the world, and the only way to stop that happening was to be in the present. He found this a very interesting perspective.

N had found that his thoughts came sometimes from body states (he had experienced some bronchitis during the past month from which some thoughts had emanated), or emotional states including from dreams. For example, on one occasion he awoke with feelings of anger which were hard to quell and which he assumed came from an experience while dreaming.

T had noticed a theme running through the thoughts that entered her head, which was a concern about how she might be viewed by others. She had traced this tendency back to childhood. For example, she had been prescribed exercises to ease a rotator cuff injury, and wanted to do them while walking or waiting at a bus stop, but had felt uneasy about how she would appear.

L said he had thoughts coming all the time and was not sure where they came from, but the exercise made him think of the relationship between our experience dreaming and our experience "awake". This reminded him of the animation Waking Life. These thoughts were like dreams - it was very hard to find out where they came from. They usually did have a source; it might be to do with puns or word-play, or similarities of colour or shape, or context of events in the past, like smells. It seemed to be an automatic process. For him as a composer it was especially interesting, as music was entering his mind all the time,  He had woken with some this morning, and had got up and recorded it. So he was obviously interested in where this music came from. Did it come from nowhere? Or was it actively brought by some agency? That was actually the theory he was working with. He followed the Ancient Greek belief in the Muse, and the Muse bringing inspiration to those who were going to transcribe it. But also, just as in dreams, the conscious mind was incredibly creative in creating scenarios and he thought that could also happen in waking life.

G said that a problem had come up abroad half way through the previous week. He started thinking about it, and realised that thinking about it would not do anything, but just create doubt within him, throwing each scenario backwards and forwards. He thought the process would stop if he didn't open the door for it. But over the next day and a half it crept in again like a naughty child. He thought that he had to think about it, as if he had a moral responsibility to do so, but thinking was not going to help, and if it was going to help it would be resolved in about twenty seconds, because you would resolve to do this, or that, or leave it. But the mind kept throwing it at him, just like a naughty child, and you had to put some form of discipline before it.

"R" had been writing a book, and had a deadline coming up. The book had to be full of information. It was not a novel. It had focused her attention on what is remembered and what isn't. She wouldn't call that thinking, she would call it associations. She has noticed the way that the "database" in the mind would just slow down. It seemed to be working at half speed a lot of the time, so trying to pinpoint a particular bit of information, she had to wait, do something else, and then it would pop up. Rather as GC was saying, it was not intentional access to what she wished to access. The other side of the same thing is how is it that anything is remembered?  Real thinking, it seemed to her, was to be solving problems and inventing solutions to the requirements of life that crop up. It was distressing and puzzling to consider that one was no longer in control, and never was.

Following the contributions, time was given to responding.

Tony Buzan

D thought that "R" must have some sense of control. Without that we wouldn't achieve anything. "R" replied that we don't achieve very much. Although she had written books before, the process, though it might appear to be the result of intentional thought, was primarily the consequence of assembling associations which apparently came at random to the mind. N added he used to teach courses in mind mapping and creative thinking, including the techniques of Tony Buzan, He advocated doing "mind-dumps", maps of associations to help in writing about a subject. N thought this was a good way of making use of the associations, having compiled them into a map, it was then possible to decide on a direction. "R" said that she did that, but the question was who is doing the deciding. N said that we were trying to become the master of that process. "R" said that there were moments of mastery, but to permanently put that hat on was a different matter. D asked "R" how did people meet deadlines. "R" said that some people drive themselves very hard to the detriment of their health. D said that some people consistently meet deadlines. L said that the Work looks into the possibility and development of a single "I", and where this is absent, following the instructions of an employer - or the requirements of a customer - works similarly. D said that what we were discussing and ultimately working to achieve was free will. GC thought the problem was the negative self-talk which can arise from thoughts, and that it was very important to recognise that process when it begins. This reminded T of a slide - as the descent picks up speed it gets harder to stop. GC agreed except for the connotation of pleasure. L said that if he was right about music coming from outside, he could infer that thoughts might also come from outside, as poetry might come to the mind of a poet.

The reading then continued from Beelzebub's Tales, Chapter 21.

With acknowledgments to Harold Good

By certain all-enlightened and all-justly guiding most sacred final results of the actualization of everything existing in the Universe, my essence has been sent to you to serve as a helping factor in the striving of each of you to free yourselves ...

Pineapple flower D raised the issue of the wording used, that Buddha's essence had been sent. He said that Buddha had not been born with an essence. L quoted Charles Rennie Mackintosh, the architect and painter - "Art is the Flower - Life is the Green Leaf". He saw art as the flowering of the human being, and maybe that was essence asserting itself, but maybe it was also about a growth of essence, a development. It was natural for plants to flower though sometimes they did not. We had all probably enjoyed pineapples, but who knew what a pineapple flower looked like? D said that the caterpillar was not the butterfly. The notion of metamorphosis was helpful to him. GC asked how did we know that essence really existed? He said that each person at the Meeting was using different words and metaphors to approach this issue. He personally kept returning to mind and thinking - thoughts came from nowhere and the mind - the physical brain in action - seemed to be attracted by negativity. He said that others spoke instead in terms of art or associations.

Art is the Flower - Life is the Green Leaf. Let every artist strive to make his flower a beautiful living thing, something that will convince the world that there may be, there are, things more precious more beautiful - more lasting than life itself... you must offer real, living - beautifully coloured flowers - flowers that grow from, but above, the green leaf – flowers that are not dead – are not dying – not artificial – real flowers springing from your own soul – not even cut flowers - You must offer the flowers of the art that is in you – the symbols of all that is noble – and beautiful – and inspiring - flowers that will often change a colourless leaf - into an established and thoughtful thing. Charles Rennie Mackintosh

... namely, there was implanted into their presences a certain organ with special properties, owing to which everything external perceived by their whole presences and transformed for their own coating was afterwards manifested not in accordance with reality.

A little later, ... our MOST ALL-GRACIOUS COMMON FATHER did not fail to give the command immediately to annul certain artificial measures, among which was the removal from the common presences of your ancestors of the now already superfluous organ Kundabuffer with all its special artificial properties ...

GC asked what kundabuffer was. "R" gave the metaphor of a flock of sheep, who are not aware of their purpose being to be slaughtered and fed to other beings. Some people were quite happy with their views, but if you had a question you already had the energy to develop it.

Following the reading, an exercise suggested by "R" was adopted for the coming month: to choose a moment each day to let associations recede into the background to receive impressions, and notice whether what comes up is associations or thoughts, and whether it takes a long time or whether it is instant.