O had been at a meeting about legal aspects of her profession. There were about twenty people there, and she knew more about the subject than anybody else, because of previous work she had done. They were all attacking her and she felt shame. After that she sent them a document that she had already written on the legalities, to inform them, and she got no response. She thought it was an ego thing. Her ego was being hurt, but she still couldn't get rid of the feeling, but today she felt better. Although she had been completely right, she could still feel hurt. This knowledge did not take the feeling away, and it seemed she needed to go on personal development courses in order to eliminate reactive feelings to unjust attacks.
Where L had primarily felt remorse of conscience was in connection with using his time badly, because he felt he should be doing something more important. He had felt that remorse of conscience just above the chest. It had not bothered him a lot, he had just let it be. As we get older we can become more conscious of time passing, and the importance of using it well. He had been treated badly by various people, and he had felt a kind of remorse of conscience for them, because he knew they were doing bad deeds, and it was because of their egos, not his. When it happened he felt a kind of projected shame, as if it was his own fault that somebody else was doing wrong things.
T had observed that it was a minefield of egos in the workplace. To survive she tried to receive and listen, to keep everyone sweet, but it was an impossible thing to do. It was a big issue about honesty, and being honest with herself, but it was very difficult not to get into cliques and have allies and collude, and she felt regret, she felt guilt about that. It did resonate in the body when it was happening. The solar plexus got tangled up, and it was just a horrible feeling. That was why she said it was like a minefield, because she was treading on eggshells, but sometimes she had to take a stance.
N occasionally became aware that he was beating himself up over certain things not having got done over the course of the day. If he had ticked most things off his to-do list at work, he felt reasonably happy, but even if he had done all the tasks of his profession, he was also aware of the fact that he had not done a great deal of spiritual work. There was part of him that sometimes came down hard on himself, saying You must find some time to do that sort of work for yourself. If he did feel that, he felt it in the solar plexus, or the heart chakra. He was not always living his life according to some of the things he felt he should be doing.
Something similar had happened to J. It wasn't actually remorse, it was the impact of a sudden realisation of what he had done, and that realisation had a very strong physical effect in his case. He thought there was a natural physical result, but it came not by degrees, it came instantaneously, and wherever was the source, whether it was the brain as it felt in that case, or whether it was something closer to the region of the heart, which it might be for another case, the transmission of that bolt was instantaneous, so it was throughout the body.
Responding to T, O said she tried to go the opposite way, which was not to be drawn to cliques, not not to be herself. She had gone on a group holiday, where they all wanted to meet each other every evening. She had decided not to participate, and had been quite friendly to everyone, but after all was left with a residual feeling as if she was in the wrong. The group placed her somewhere, and it was very difficult not to identify with it. She suddenly assumed a persona which was not her. What did it mean to be true to herself? T said that if she was in conflict with people in the team, it ruffled her feathers, and made her feel uncomfortable, and she sometimes compromised to avoid that.
The reading continued from Chapter 27 of Beelzebub's Tales.
... furthermore, in consequence of the total absence of the participation of the impulse of sacred conscience in their waking-consciousness - then these three-brained beings ... still continue to strive to arrange their welfare during the process of their ordinary existence, exclusively for them themselves.
And as in general, on none of the planets of our great Universe does there or can there exist enough of everything required for everybody’s equal external welfare, irrespective of what are called ‘objective-merits’, the result there is that the prosperity of one is always built on the adversity of many.
J questioned the assumptions that nobody had sacred conscience, and that many should suffer so that others have plenty.
All the beings of this planet then began to work in order to have in their consciousness this Divine function of genuine conscience, and for this purpose, as everywhere in the Universe, they transubstantiated in themselves what are called the ‘being-obligolnian-strivings’.
... The fourth: the striving from the beginning of their existence to pay for their arising and their individuality as quickly as possible, in order afterwards to be free to lighten as much as possible the Sorrow of our COMMON FATHER.
J said this great law of morality, that was earlier stated only for human beings and not animals, was now described for the entire cosmos!
GC asked, if there was a common father, what did he have to be sorry about? Where was this Christian guilt trip coming from? N said there were different interpretations of what Gurdjieff was, and in the case of the Christian interpretation he cited Prof Jacob Needleman.
| If you notice you are suppressing remorse of conscience, ask yourself if it relates to ego. If there is any accompanying sensation in the body, give space to it. |
Where L had primarily felt remorse of conscience was in connection with using his time badly, because he felt he should be doing something more important. He had felt that remorse of conscience just above the chest. It had not bothered him a lot, he had just let it be. As we get older we can become more conscious of time passing, and the importance of using it well. He had been treated badly by various people, and he had felt a kind of remorse of conscience for them, because he knew they were doing bad deeds, and it was because of their egos, not his. When it happened he felt a kind of projected shame, as if it was his own fault that somebody else was doing wrong things.
T had observed that it was a minefield of egos in the workplace. To survive she tried to receive and listen, to keep everyone sweet, but it was an impossible thing to do. It was a big issue about honesty, and being honest with herself, but it was very difficult not to get into cliques and have allies and collude, and she felt regret, she felt guilt about that. It did resonate in the body when it was happening. The solar plexus got tangled up, and it was just a horrible feeling. That was why she said it was like a minefield, because she was treading on eggshells, but sometimes she had to take a stance.
N occasionally became aware that he was beating himself up over certain things not having got done over the course of the day. If he had ticked most things off his to-do list at work, he felt reasonably happy, but even if he had done all the tasks of his profession, he was also aware of the fact that he had not done a great deal of spiritual work. There was part of him that sometimes came down hard on himself, saying You must find some time to do that sort of work for yourself. If he did feel that, he felt it in the solar plexus, or the heart chakra. He was not always living his life according to some of the things he felt he should be doing.
Something similar had happened to J. It wasn't actually remorse, it was the impact of a sudden realisation of what he had done, and that realisation had a very strong physical effect in his case. He thought there was a natural physical result, but it came not by degrees, it came instantaneously, and wherever was the source, whether it was the brain as it felt in that case, or whether it was something closer to the region of the heart, which it might be for another case, the transmission of that bolt was instantaneous, so it was throughout the body.
Responding to T, O said she tried to go the opposite way, which was not to be drawn to cliques, not not to be herself. She had gone on a group holiday, where they all wanted to meet each other every evening. She had decided not to participate, and had been quite friendly to everyone, but after all was left with a residual feeling as if she was in the wrong. The group placed her somewhere, and it was very difficult not to identify with it. She suddenly assumed a persona which was not her. What did it mean to be true to herself? T said that if she was in conflict with people in the team, it ruffled her feathers, and made her feel uncomfortable, and she sometimes compromised to avoid that.
The reading continued from Chapter 27 of Beelzebub's Tales.
... furthermore, in consequence of the total absence of the participation of the impulse of sacred conscience in their waking-consciousness - then these three-brained beings ... still continue to strive to arrange their welfare during the process of their ordinary existence, exclusively for them themselves.
And as in general, on none of the planets of our great Universe does there or can there exist enough of everything required for everybody’s equal external welfare, irrespective of what are called ‘objective-merits’, the result there is that the prosperity of one is always built on the adversity of many.
J questioned the assumptions that nobody had sacred conscience, and that many should suffer so that others have plenty.
All the beings of this planet then began to work in order to have in their consciousness this Divine function of genuine conscience, and for this purpose, as everywhere in the Universe, they transubstantiated in themselves what are called the ‘being-obligolnian-strivings’.
... The fourth: the striving from the beginning of their existence to pay for their arising and their individuality as quickly as possible, in order afterwards to be free to lighten as much as possible the Sorrow of our COMMON FATHER.
J said this great law of morality, that was earlier stated only for human beings and not animals, was now described for the entire cosmos!
GC asked, if there was a common father, what did he have to be sorry about? Where was this Christian guilt trip coming from? N said there were different interpretations of what Gurdjieff was, and in the case of the Christian interpretation he cited Prof Jacob Needleman.
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