With people at work, the arguments in T's mind were connected with energy whirling round in the solar plexus. She had not been able to remember the pause. With people that she knew well, she had been aware of it at the time; her thinking processes became more scattered, her voice became raised, and it was a more biological response. She had been able to pause afterwards, which was an interesting experience, because it was as if everything was whirling round in her body, so there wasn't equilibrium and poise.
On one occasion, a lady who cares for J disagreed with something he wanted to do, and his reaction to that was entirely cerebral, he knew where she was coming from, and the location in the body was decidedly up top. On another occasion, a friend disagreed with him in an acerbic tone of voice, and the locus of the reaction was in the solar plexus.
Having been quite reactive most of her life, LR had been mindful this last month of her response to disagreement, aware that she needed and wanted to become responsible, looking in to herself and seeing how she wanted to be in terms of being calm and neutral, and not arguing back or even accusing. At the point when someone disagreed with her, she was aware of what was going on, and considered how she wanted to be. She realised she had a choice. Did she want to get involved, or did she want to try and stay in something she was constantly trying to form up in herself, which was an inner calm and stability, out of which she could come in a positive way when she dealt with another. LR's reaction was in the solar plexus, which is a seat of will, and another brain. She was also aware of her blood getting heated up, and her nerves could jangle. On one occasion she observed she had used an accusatory tone of voice.
N had met with a client during the month, who became very defensive when asked for more information. N explained further that the information was needed to pursue the matter further, and the client became very difficult about the whole situation. N could sense the tension in the room.
People disagreed with L quite a lot, partly because he was quite focused, and he knew what he wanted to do and tried to do it. Or people disagreed with him because they might plain just not like him, but whether people agreed or disagreed, he thought OK, he did not tend to react emotionally any more, or feel it anywhere, but occasionally, if there was anger associated with the other person, then he did feel it. He supposed that was being empathetic. L was part of a group of artists, and one recently sent a letter of resignation by email, to other members of the committee. L could see, just from the subject line, anger leaking out, and so it proved to be when he read the email. On this occasion he felt it around the heart, and then he paused.
Responses then followed. Responding to N, T asked if there was a point when he was aware of the pause happening in the context of the CHALLENGE, and if there was a period when he had paused. N said he was aware, and wondered What was really going on here?, and there was confusion and anxiety within him. He had sensed all kinds of feelings running through his body at the time that it was going on. He sensed it as well in the body, in the solar plexus, which was where you felt these things. Also, if he got angry, he sometimes felt blood coursing through his head, and he had to then calm himself down and meditate, otherwise it could have a strong physical effect on him. He was aware of the fact that the disagreements could lead to anger, which could lead to all kinds of things. So it was an ongoing process which you could see in your machine. It was purely a mechanical process, and if you could stop it, which you sometimes could, you had gone to a higher stage. He had realised during the process that he was not going to change this person's attitude in the meeting, and so they did pause it and moved on to something else. T asked if the pausing had been for the meeting or had it been for himself. N said it had been for both. GC said that N was the only one who had felt the energy in his head.
LR had watched the film Meetings with Remarkable Men again, and on this occasion she caught something new from it, that she'd never seen before, and it was to do with the depiction of pauses. They did not waste language. In the film, the young Gurdjieff would ask a question to his father. There would be a long pause. Then his father would give a brief answer. They were coming from a place of respect and value and honesty, and being precise, rather than the waffle we all have, and there was a feeling of substance or content. For her there was something significant about the pause before she reacted with people.
The reading continued from Chapter 28 of Beelzebub's Tales.
When this later great learned being there reached the age of a responsible being, and although he had indeed a great deal of information or, as it is called there, ‘knowledge,’ nevertheless, he had absolutely no Being in regard to this information or knowledge which he had acquired.
| Once a day, when something you say is disagreed with, observe how you are feeling emotionally, and then where you feel it in your body. Pause for a moment. |
Having been quite reactive most of her life, LR had been mindful this last month of her response to disagreement, aware that she needed and wanted to become responsible, looking in to herself and seeing how she wanted to be in terms of being calm and neutral, and not arguing back or even accusing. At the point when someone disagreed with her, she was aware of what was going on, and considered how she wanted to be. She realised she had a choice. Did she want to get involved, or did she want to try and stay in something she was constantly trying to form up in herself, which was an inner calm and stability, out of which she could come in a positive way when she dealt with another. LR's reaction was in the solar plexus, which is a seat of will, and another brain. She was also aware of her blood getting heated up, and her nerves could jangle. On one occasion she observed she had used an accusatory tone of voice.
N had met with a client during the month, who became very defensive when asked for more information. N explained further that the information was needed to pursue the matter further, and the client became very difficult about the whole situation. N could sense the tension in the room.
People disagreed with L quite a lot, partly because he was quite focused, and he knew what he wanted to do and tried to do it. Or people disagreed with him because they might plain just not like him, but whether people agreed or disagreed, he thought OK, he did not tend to react emotionally any more, or feel it anywhere, but occasionally, if there was anger associated with the other person, then he did feel it. He supposed that was being empathetic. L was part of a group of artists, and one recently sent a letter of resignation by email, to other members of the committee. L could see, just from the subject line, anger leaking out, and so it proved to be when he read the email. On this occasion he felt it around the heart, and then he paused.
Responses then followed. Responding to N, T asked if there was a point when he was aware of the pause happening in the context of the CHALLENGE, and if there was a period when he had paused. N said he was aware, and wondered What was really going on here?, and there was confusion and anxiety within him. He had sensed all kinds of feelings running through his body at the time that it was going on. He sensed it as well in the body, in the solar plexus, which was where you felt these things. Also, if he got angry, he sometimes felt blood coursing through his head, and he had to then calm himself down and meditate, otherwise it could have a strong physical effect on him. He was aware of the fact that the disagreements could lead to anger, which could lead to all kinds of things. So it was an ongoing process which you could see in your machine. It was purely a mechanical process, and if you could stop it, which you sometimes could, you had gone to a higher stage. He had realised during the process that he was not going to change this person's attitude in the meeting, and so they did pause it and moved on to something else. T asked if the pausing had been for the meeting or had it been for himself. N said it had been for both. GC said that N was the only one who had felt the energy in his head.
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LR had watched the film Meetings with Remarkable Men again, and on this occasion she caught something new from it, that she'd never seen before, and it was to do with the depiction of pauses. They did not waste language. In the film, the young Gurdjieff would ask a question to his father. There would be a long pause. Then his father would give a brief answer. They were coming from a place of respect and value and honesty, and being precise, rather than the waffle we all have, and there was a feeling of substance or content. For her there was something significant about the pause before she reacted with people.
The reading continued from Chapter 28 of Beelzebub's Tales.
... Already by the time this terrestrial what is called ‘Papa’s-and-Mama’s-darling’ was approaching the age of a responsible being, he was, as it is said there, very well ‘instructed’ and ‘educated,’ that is, he had in his presence a great deal of data for all kinds of being ‘egoplastikoori,’ consisting, as it is usual there according to the abnormally established conditions of their existence, of various fantastic and dubious information; and later, when he became a responsible being he manifested himself automatically through all kinds of corresponding accidental shocks.
LR said the significant word here was responsible. It was as if he had created himself. She had the feeling responses in him became automatic, having worked through, overcome or faced the accidental shocks, because we all had accidental shocks, and a shock was a move up.
RM said that a lot of education was instruction, and it became instinct. Education gets people to become automatic machines. How do you make money? How do you do this? How do you do that? RM had a sense that this was what Gurdjieff was talking about, and that the parents were channelling him into that way of thinking, becoming a machine, as most of us did become.
T said he was not being allowed to have his own experience of anything, he was just being filled from books and other people's words. J said it was the difference between pure and applied mathematics, You could learn information that was not of emotional importance, and you could apply it, but to deliberately cut yourself off from one or the other was a mistake. N said this was very different to the education that Gurdjieff himself got, as described in Meetings With Remarkable Men, where his father would get him to do all kinds of trades, and when he was about to master one, his father would move him to the next thing for him to learn, so he acquired all this practical knowledge.
Well, when this unprecedented Kashireitleer was ready, the subsequently great Lentrohamsanin inscribed upon it his invention concerning a topic which, indeed, it had occurred to nobody to discuss before, and for which, in truth, there was no reason why it should have been.
Namely, in those wiseacrings of his, he then criticised in every way the existing order of collective existence.
This Kashireitleer began thus:
Namely, in those wiseacrings of his, he then criticised in every way the existing order of collective existence.
This Kashireitleer began thus:
Man’s greatest happiness consists in not being dependent on any other personality whatsoever, and in being free from the influence of any other person, whoever he may be!
...Undeniably, life under the present state-organisation is now far better for us than it used to be before; but where then is that real freedom of ours upon which our happiness must depend?
Don’t we work and labour as much now as during all other former state-organisations?
Haven’t we to labour and sweat to get the barley indispensable to us to live and not to starve to death like chained dogs?J said there was one thing he could not see. What he was discussing was the state of society. We did all this. This was bad. What we have got now may be an improvement but is it good enough? How come nobody had thought to discuss that before, and why wasn't there any point in it? L said that somebody had to be the first. J said that the text was saying he was on an entirely false trail, but it seemed a reasonable thing that he was doing, even if he was wrong about what he suspected should be the case.
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