Oil and Toil

The Meeting opened with a silence of one minute.

Each person present was then invited to present a two minute account of relevant experiences since the previous time.

In a message from India, BS raised two issues. [Removed at the request of BS.] He applied some techniques given by Charles.T. Tart in his book Living the Mindful Life, which draws heavily from Gurdjieff's ideas. [Removed at the request of BS.]

D has been aware of the aging process, aches and pains, falling out with a few friends. He moved into a new flat 6 months ago, and has projects in the pipeline, but can't write, He had written a follow up to one earlier piece of writing. He has been watching all the sport, seeing the challenges, the failures or triumphs - he is aware of his mortality, and that the whole world is in flux politically. He drew a parallel between the TV news coverage on the banker and the Russian Revolution 100 years ago, which had been about the poor rising up because the riches were in the hands of the few. Nothing has changed, we are still in this same state, we are stooping low. Sigmund Freud said humankind hasn't risen that high. He realised the truth of this in himself.

BW said he could so easily not have come to the Meeting. It was a struggle to get there. He has not made progress, instead being caught up in what he was doing externally, not being present with internal exercises. He had felt he could not justify doing the 12pm and 5pm checking of the time. He spent the first week trying to do the reminding task but as for the rest of the month it was not until the day before the Meeting that he remembered. He wondered if this was the consequence of putting effort the month before into the radio play. He had a note on his desk of BS's interpretation of Einstein'a equation

E=MC² (where E stands for Effect, M for Mission and C for concentration)

which had pushed him to go further in his writing than he would otherwise have done.

Z spoke of her experience with the time exercise. She hadn't remembered at 12pm or 5pm, but at different times.She had been moved by reading the maxim from the Beelzebub paragraphs:

"If you go on a spree then go the whole hog including the postage."

This is what Gurdjieff did all the time in his life and he went in amazing directions, putting everything into what he did - looking at herself, she didn't do this. She recognised that she was holding back in different ways, and the message from the paragraphs freed her up "to go and get it".

M said a question had arisen in his mind through meditation as to what is the important thing to meditate on. The problem he faced was keeping his mind under control. Not all thoughts that come into his head are  going in the direction he wants them to. He thought it important to direct them to the area of greatest importance, for example thinking on how to be a more efficient person, but he finds himself thinking about sport instead. He asked how he could have more control over thoughts and feelings to make progress in this direction.

"R" related that, having suggested the time exercise in the first place, she promptly forgot it and continued as before with the techniques she uses daily to remind her of herself. By trying to connect with the body each day, she notices that the capacities of the body are begining to dimimish, for instance she is unable to walk for hours without hurting. If there is any meaning in her work, it is to integrate it with the body. How the mind wanders in any way it pleases presents a real challenge. She doesn't control it or master it, but needs to work with it rather than against it, to give her energy to work to be in her body, not to travel away from the body. She had been touched by BS's intense experiences related to that.

T had tried the 12pm and 5pm exercise, and did not manage it completely even once. At different times she did remember, and would then start to count from 1 to 60 as an exercise to stay with the remembering, and while counting would try to observe her surroundings at the time, asking herself where she was, who she was with, and what she was doing. The most common activity she had observed was that she was eating!

RM said that what comes to mind while he is studying Gurdjieff material, is that he is on a path of evolution, an evolution of reason. Referring to Gurdjieff's concept of friction, he feels he is up against barriers when he gives an intense attention that opens up options. These barriers enable his reason to get honed. Reason is like a light that continues to grow. He thinks that this is what makes humanity different from animals, which escape the link between awareness and consciousness. The question that comes to his mind is why humanity's reason, reason around the evolution of counsciousness, has grown faster than in other animals? He gave the example of a cat apparently asleep, but alert to its surroundings as shown by its sudden responses from an apparent state of sleep.

E thought that reason on its own is not enough. but has to be with the kindness of humanity. Otherwise living with reason alone is trying to walk on one leg. She had failed with the exercise of checking the time, even though her clock has an alarm. She is not in control; in some ways she finds this hard to believe, but it seems as if it is so.

The contributions were then discussed.

BW asked for elaboration about integration of the body, as described by "R". RM said we are trying to be more harmonious, and in balance. If there are tensions one cannot be in balance. Tension pulls the attention from being free. We tend to ignore the body a lot of the time. "R" explained that people talk about what they are thinking about. She could not really call it talking about consciousness, it is just thinking that is being talked about - just thinking is resistance to being present in the body. Z referred to Gurdjieff's concept of three-brained beings; mind, body and emotion. We are not fully present, we are not fully human. A previous group she was in worked with the senses, the body, "to be here and now", to speak to our tensions, and consider what the tensions are saying. GC said that when not thinking, we tend to display what is going on inside us, to project what is going on in the body. BW felt he was conscious of being in his body, but whatever his understanding of that state was, experienced a resistance. "R" thought it an excellent line of study, to experience and investigate in oneself. D pointed out that he needs to be thinking in order to write - if he became present he wouldn't be able to write.

Regarding the exercise of checking the time twice a day, GC said he had been doing it every hour, as a discipline to remember himself; likewise he was trying to avoid eating when not hungry, to see how powerful his resolution wasn't.

The Meeting was about to start reading from Beelzebub's Tales, when GC enquired why we were reading this book when it was so difficult. In fact he had been reading it for years and still finds it difficult. This prompted a discussion on the issue, after which, with less time remaining, consideration of the text resumed.

Gurdjieff tells a tale of a Russian merchant who buys a book for his son, and queries the price in the bookshop.

"But it is marked here forty-five kopecks. Why do you ask sixty?" Thereupon the salesman, making as is said the "oleaginous" face proper to all salesmen, replied that ... fifteen kopecks were added for postage.  ... our Russian merchant who was perplexed ... again pondered, this time like an English professor who has invented a capsule for castor oil, and then suddenly turned to his friend and delivered himself for the first time on Earth of the verbal formulation which, expressing in its essence an indubitable objective truth, has since assumed the character of a saying. And he then put it to his friend as follows: "Never mind, old fellow, we'll take the book. Anyway we're on a spree today, and

'if you go on a spree then go the whole hog including the postage.' "

The narrator continues:

" ... as soon as I had cognized all this, something very strange, ... immediately began, and for a rather long time continued to proceed in me; ... after the lapse of some time suddenly ... replaced by such a peaceful inner condition as I experienced in later life once only, when the ceremony of the great initiation into the Brotherhood of the 'Originators of making butter from air' was performed over me ..."

T wondered if there was any significance in the fact that oil had been referred to three times, with the mention of castor oil, the use of the adjective "oleaginous", and the reference to making butter from air. RM suggested that oil might symbolise personality, and air correspond to essence.

At the close of the Meeting, RM recommended a variant on the previous month's exercise that he had been trying out. On checking the time twice a day, he has been counting from 1 to 9 and down to 1 again, several times. GC gave out printed sheets of an Osho article about self-remembering, another on Essence and Personality (by Maurice Nicoll), and a page he had prepared of two psychological parables.

Fear and Presence

The Meeting opened with a silence of one minute to focus and quieten the mind. Each person then gave a presentation of up to two minutes of relevant experiences and thoughts, many from the previous month.

Z remarked on how hard it was to change one's own patterns of behaviour, quite apart from considering that of other people. She has noticed how she can put something down and forget where she has put it only minutes later. She described experiencing frustration about this. She is aware that her periods of being present and aware are momentary.

BW had been feeling that he does not know what he wants to be doing in a grand sense, or who he wants to be. He has been in a state of uncertainty about what he really feels or thinks about the things he has been doing for a long time. It was like waking up as a passenger in a car - many other people may have expectations which he does not share, and it is difficult to maintain a sense of continuity with people close to him.

MG spoke of having thoughts which are uncalled for. He said that every thought is generated by a certain amount of will, and if not by his will, the question is whose. Whose will is supporting habitual behaviour which one would rather not be doing at the time? The will varies in source in two dimensions, of inner world and outside reality, and it is good to be able to separate them and consider which is the real world. In the inner world time does not really exist, as one can "be" somewhere instantly. It is easier than one might think to confidently apply will power.

G had been considering how to deal with indulgent thinking and stupid mental rambles and was finding the best answer was just to get up and do something else.

T, at her art studio, observed that it was easier to eat than do drawing and painting. She was aware she could stop but was able to observe as she did it and felt better. This was a glimpse of the observer kicking in and watching.

[Removed at the request of BS.]

LG spoke of how the practice of art had elements of conflict, it was like a battle, and whilst he had overcome obstacles to successfully write a work of classical music over several months and distribute it to musicians in good time, it was as if the musicians had succumbed, and having failed to practice sufficiently, a full performance had to be cancelled. He experienced resistance to the music reaching the audience in many forms. He was nearly run over by a car mounting the pavement shortly before the concert, and on the eve of the concert the programme was reprinted with his name and piece removed. The use of the internet was a good tool to counter such resistance to the spread of art, and once online it was harder to stop.

"R" had attended an event for which she was expected to present a professional persona, while at the same time having a visitor with her who needed frequent attention. She keeps returning to physical presence as being her anchor, not to think about things succeeding or failing, but rather of a situation as an opportunity to sense her presence.

E had been experiencing negative thoughts after closing a long-established practice in chi gung, and wondered how this could be happening after 17 years work as a practioner, with all the resources and skills she had built up.

LH brought up his experience of fear, and how talking at the Meeting was creating physical reactions in his body symptomatic of it. Fear could be about being present somewhere, or about knowing things.

There followed a discussion on the contributions.

Continuing on the theme of fear, G wondered if we attract the things we fear - if one is scared of a dog it steps forward toward you. Z said that to be afraid of something gives it energy. G thought that we make our own fear and that fears have no foundation in fact. L considered that usual fears are a diversion from the fundamental fear based on the fact that we are on a lump of rock, at the same time, all destined for oblivion, as far as we know. G asked how it was possible to be afraid of oblivion. M wanted to know if anyone had experienced overcoming fear. He gave an example from experience of being asked perform impromptu music in an unfamiliar style, before a large audience, which turned out to be the most appreciated part of the evening's performance.

In response to BW, L thought that those in the acting profession can naturally focus on the issue of identity and purpose, for the successful adoption of roles from drama poses the question as to what role is being acted out in real life. BW elaborated on the instance of luck in careers, which he had formerly not believed in. G said that luck increases for those who are proactive.

The Meeting then resumed the reading of Beelzebub's Tales, clockwise round the table.

In the context of an argument between children about how to catch a pigeon, Gurdjieff included the following section in a contrasting style of language:

"...Suppose it is true that the greatest physical force of the pigeon is concentrated in that big toe, then all the more, what we've got to do is to see that just that toe will be caught in the noose. Only then will there be any sense to our aim – that is to say, for catching these unfortunate pigeon creatures – in that brain-particularity proper to all possessors of that soft and slippery 'something' which consists in this, that when, thanks to other actions, from which its insignificant manifestability depends, there arises a periodic requisite law conformable what is called 'change of presence,' then this small so to say 'law conformable confusion' which should proceed for the animation of other acts in its general functioning, immediately enables the center of gravity of the whole functioning, in which this slippery 'something' plays a very small part, to pass temporarily from its usual place to another place, owing to which there often obtains in the whole of this general functioning, unexpected results ridiculous to the point of absurdity."

There was a discussion on the significance of the phrase slippery 'something', as to whether it meant an aspect of consciousness difficult to sustain, or whether it meant nothing. The fight scene continues with a description which may refer to a change of consciousness, and a visual metaphor introducing one of Gurdjieff's abstract concepts:

"From this blow, I, as is said, 'saw stars', ... After a little time ... I then actually discovered that some foreign substance was in my mouth, and when I pulled it out with my fingers, it turned out to be nothing less than a tooth of large dimensions and strange form. ... This strange tooth had seven shoots and at the end of each of them there stood out in relief a drop of blood, and through each separate drop there shone clearly and definitely one of the seven aspects of the manifestation of the white ray."

As the Meeting was about to close, "R" suggested it might be beneficial to practice an exercise during the coming month, in addition to considering the reading. The exercise agreed upon was to remember, every day, to look at the time around midday, and again in the evening.

Stillness and the Wandering Mind

After a silence of one minute, each person gave a two-minute account of relevant experiences over the previous month.

[Removed at the request of BS.]

L spoke of experiencing an involuntary, sudden pausing of activity twice in the past few weeks. All thoughts disappeared and he stopped in his tracks, as if suddenly awaking from a dream. He wondered if this was an indication of some change resulting from attention to the Work. In addition he had received a message the previous evening that the musicians who were due to play his latest composition on Thursday had decided not to play it in full, saying that it was too difficult. His reaction to this showed elements of ego which were interesting to observe.

BW has been working on a play for radio, and is trying to find ways to maintain momentum yet remain awake. After summoning the will power to sit down to write and starting in a state of alert wakefullness, he would then during the writing feel himself falling away from this state of alertness, and although writing, slipping into a "sleeping" state. In addition he noted that trying to be present while in contact with other people can be off-putting to them.

M said that people can sense it if another is communicating from a different emotional state. Older people have different viewpoints when communicating, a bigger picture and perspective of time, and have very different ideas from when they were younger.

RM had been considering what the true balance in life should be, and how to wake up and be present. On one occasion, on waking from sleep, he had realised in a flash that happiness is directly related to the degree in which one can become engaged. When ego takes over people disengage, but when ego is released, harmony returns. After much thought, he had what he thought were Gurdjieff's three primary aims.

D's play had been performed on Friday. One of the actors had had only three days to prepare. There had also been very costly amendments necessary to the printed adverts, on which the wrong dates had been put. In the end the performance went well, but he was reminded of the Kate Bush song, Walk Straight Down The Middle:

...He thought he was gonna die, But he didn't.
She thought she just couldn't cope, But she did.
We thought it would be so hard, But it wasn't... It wasn't easy, though!

Z recounted that having found Beelzebub's Tales difficult to tackle in the past, but following the previous meeting, she had renewed interest in it. However she had come down with a virus and lost the impetus to continue.

T could relate to that, having been fired up after the last meeting with the book, she now realised that she hasn't looked at it for a few weeks. She works in Mental Health, and the last few weeks have been distraught, and she hadn't been dreaming. Attending a funeral had seemed cathartic, and dreaming had resumed, as if some sort of healing had started. The Gurdjieff Work has helped make sense of this trauma.

G said he had cruised through life. He does meditation but thought he might be better off in a group. In the mornings he mind is going everywhere. He had read material on Gurdjieff and the Work widely.

"R" related that her mother had died since she was last at a Meeting, and had been unable to come in April. She had encountered very helpful advice from an acupuncturist, who advised that at the start of the day one should be centred. She had found that without being centred, mental work has no value. Sitting quietly for fifteen minutes was an exercise advocated by Gurdjieff.

K had been involved formerly with the School of Economic Science, and used to experience stillness frequently, but over time this had gone from his life. He had tried a number of activities, and found bookbinding particularly useful for forcing one to be present, attentive and focused, as there are some moments in the process which require utter concentration.

A discussion of the contributions followed.

D related to L's experiences of stillness. After his play he felt a huge sense of relief, and noticed a cigarette butt and a stain on the pavement, seeing them with great clarity. L suggested that what D had at that moment was the sense of presence of a painter, seeing something in detail just as it was. D said it gave him a great sense of peace this morning, that the play was all over. RM said that this was because he wasn't associating.

L mentioned that "R"'s exercise of centering was reminiscent of the four principles of ki aikido: Keep one-point, Relax completely, Keep weight underside and Extend ki. T said that we moan about our bodies - that they hurt or ache or don't function as we want them to - but actually we are in our bodies when we are alive, and they are our experience of this existence and they are nearer to us than our surroundings, and one needs to attend more to this body consciousness and not try and escape into ideas or fantasies which are disconnected from this body state; we do not know where we were before we were born and we do not know where we will be when we die but we are in our bodies now and need to give our bodies our attention.

"R" brought up the issue of how one could extend the period of being awake. B said he can awake during stillness but falls asleep trying to apply this in doing some activity. K thought that there are some things we can do, like meditation, to make it more propitious that we might have a period of being awake. RM quoted Gurdjieff as saying that activity should be allowed to come to an end before starting the next - that space and coming to quietness is very important before coming to the next action, like a rest between notes in music. K found it useful to pause when getting into the car, and before leaving it, which gave more periods of temporary wakefulness.

Responding to G, T thought his experience was close to the Gurdjieff idea of self-observation, which can be uncomfortable and difficult, but is the Work. G and "R" discussed the meaning of suffering. "R" thought it was something to work against, one of the ingredients in life, that can be incorporated as a force to help us work.

RM said a useful tool was to remember oneself. G observed that a child is at one with the situation. T said that the child is pure experience and the adult is the observer of experience. "R" emphasised that the child "just is" and the child is not aware of itself experiencing. L talked of Gurdjieff's model of Essence and Personality, in which the child begins as essence and grows a shell of personality which can later be opened. "R" quoted Picasso: "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."

Prior to the Meeting continuing with Beelzebub's Tales, RM presented his list of Gurdjieff's primary aims:

THE VISION OF GURDJIEFF

1. To investigate from all sides, and to understand the exact significance and purpose of the life of man.


2. To discover, at all costs, some manner or means for destroying in people the predeliction for suggestibility which causes them to fall easily under the influence of "mass hypnosis". To develop in themselves rational, independence of thought and action.


3. To originate an institution for the preparation of "helper-instructors", in order to be able to put into the lives of people what he had learned.

On point 2, T gave the example of David Hockney, who, as a child, was told not to draw now, but leave it till later. He would sit at the back of class and draw cacti.

G asked who decides there is a purpose. "R" said that maybe there is no significance. M thought there has to be significance, otherwise nothing would exist. G said the mind needs a purpose. L talked of the existentialists under occupation in France, who found purpose in resistance. K thought it was up to the individual; some people decide they have a higher purpose. M said there are times when we all wonder what life is all about. To get joy out of life you have to find what you are really cut out to do or really want. There is usually something you can find if you can avoid other distractions. If people can find out their real purpose, it can be quite revealing. L thought it useful for people to cast their minds back to early childhood, as what stirred the child would most closely relate to essence, before the outer shell of personality is formed.

As attention moved to Beelzebub's Tales, K said that initially much of the writing seems nonsense, with long, convoluted sentences, but some parts make sense, e.g. about doing the unconventional. He asked for a quick summary of the book, which was provided by "R": Gurdjieff invented a world of metaphor as if visiting from another planet, which enabled a description of life on this planet from an impartial point of view.

The reading of Beelzebub's Tales then resumed, working clockwise round the table.

"...my dear now deceased grandmother placed her dying left hand on my head and in a whisper, yet very distinctly, said: 'Eldest of my grandsons! Listen and always remember my strict injunction to you: In life never do as others do. ... Either do nothing – just go to school – or do something nobody else does."

BW wondered how to tell the difference between conforming and doing what one wants to do, as rebelling can lead to a different conformity. M thought that not all habits are bad. D said it is hard to step out of the pack.

Struggle and Salvation

The Meeting began with a silence of one minute.

Then each person gave a two-minute account of relevant experiences over the previous month.

D recounted an incident where he had been explaining the meaning of acronyms used in text messaging, including "omg", which led to him being accused of blasphemy. D responded robustly, and the other person is now urging D to find salvation through conversion to Christianity. Observing his own reactions, D noted he had experienced an intensity of reaction in this exchange that touched something deep and unresolved.

M described being in conversation with people and noticing that they were not listening to what he was saying, and continuing to talk about their own interests as if he had not spoken. It was as if they were inhabiting another place rather than the present experience. He added that he observes himself doing the same thing too, on occasion.

Z spoke of resistance she has experienced with regard to reading Beelzebub's Tales.

BW has been trying to understand what the Work is about. He sets goals, but finds them hard to accomplish. His recent performance in theatre completed, he has been writing, but is not satisfied with the quality of his draft and feels he needs to rewrite it.

T had been to the Lucian Freud exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery. Each painting had taken one to three years to paint, and yet looking at them in their entirety revealed no evidence of the passing of time, or of the struggle to reach the completed work. She has been working on one painting for a year, and has learnt more from this one work than in all her years of painting more short-term pieces. She felt encouraged by the magnificent exhibition of works by a "master" who stayed with painting one picture over a prolonged period of time.

RM spoke about his experience over the last few months of being on a 56 day cruise along the Amazon River. He had organised open meditation, morning and evening teaching and discussion meetings, creating a daily structure within which people attended and participated. Attendance grew over the weeks and there was enormous interest and enthusiasm. The strength of this experience has reinforced for him the idea to develop a similar course here, for which he is in the process of creating the structure and content, and feels there is a huge untapped appetite in the population.

L spoke of the illusion of free will, and how the the exertion of will power and self-awareness seems to incur stronger resistance. The creating of art could play a significant role in the Work, and Lucian Freud was an example of successful application of will-power.

[Removed at the request of BS.]

A discussion of the contributions followed.

BW asked D what he had not liked about the communications from the Christian. D thought it had triggered the same rebellious feelings in him that he recalled from childhood, when those in authority demanded that he think and act in a way alien to his own thoughts and feelings. L thought the message a little threatening in its symbology, and the implied consequence of not choosing salvation as urged. M said the word Christ comes from the Greek Χριστός, which means "saviour", which could be understood in any religion as that which would save you. Z knows a local Christian minister well, and respects him; everyone is in a different place.

Z suggested that BW think of his work in terms of struggle. The struggle can be interpreted as food in the Work. L commented that Gurdjieff uses the metaphor of food in Beelzebub's Tales, and that in writing, struggle is good. If there is no struggle, the writing might not be good enough. RM recommended using Ouspensky's Psychology of Man's Possible Evolution as a text to help people learn Gurdjieff's ideas. This was the book he had used in his sessions on the cruise, and it had been very effective. L said that the Meetings were "Gurdjieff Meetings", focusing on Gurdjieff, and asked why Ouspensky's interpretation of Gurdjieff's ideas would be better than Gurdjieff's own writings. T mentioned that even in the context of Beelzebub's Tales, it was difficult to locate the original version approved by Gurdjieff.

The reading of Beelzebub's Tales then resumed. A deck of cards brought in by BW was used to select randomly who would read next.

"I shall expound my thoughts ... (so) that the essence of certain real notions may of themselves automatically, so to say, go from this 'waking consciousness' ... into what you call the subconscious, which ought to be in my opinion the real human consciousness, and ... mechanically bring about ... the results ... which are proper to man and not merely to single- or double-brained animals."

RM explained that by "waking consciousness" Gurdjieff means the moving centre, or illusion. M said that humans are triple-brained as they have an intellectual centre in addition to emotional and instinctive ones. RM spoke of the speeds of the three centres, describing the instinctive centre as being 30,000 times faster than the emotional, which is itself 30,000 times faster than the intellectual.

It was decided that discussion of each paragraph be limited to five minutes, to promote passage through the book, and the reading continued:

"In the entirety of every man ... are formed two independent consciousnesses which... have almost nothing in common. One consciousness is formed from the perception of all kinds of ... impressions ...; and the other ... transmitted to him by heredity, which have become blended ..."

T found this paragraph mind-boggling, and wondered if this might have been Gurdjieff's intention. RM explained that Gurdjieff is referring to essence and personality, or nature and nurture.

Gurdjieff goes on to say that he is "... obliged to construct the general exposition even of this first chapter ... calculating that it should reach, and in the manner required for my aim 'ruffle', the perceptions accumulated in both these consciousnesses of yours."

Digesting the Difficult

The Meeting began with a silence of one minute, as suggested by T.

Each person present, in turn, then gave a timed two-minute account of relevant experiences over the previous month.

D spoke about his absence in the meetings over the last two months. He had been very busy and very exhausted by the busyness. On one of the meeting days he had been out of London in connection with his creative work. He has been self-observing his "highs and lows" - how high they were and how low they were - and how he was not in control of their occurrence. He had been reading Beelzebub's Tales and could not make up his mind whether it is rubbish, or esoteric and deep.

BW had been acting in a play, and in working to embody the character he portrays on stage, he adopted some aspects of the role out of context. The character is not pleasant and he had found this practice disturbing and was now keeping it separate from normal life. This had raised issues of what was the identity of his own nature and where playing a role starts and stops.

T has been working overtime on Thursdays which makes her late home and late to sleep. She has analysed a schedule for Thursdays to protect the Friday studio day from the usual exhausted state, which she feels is a self-sabotage which provides a rationale for not working on her own painting. However last Thursday the same happened, and she will continue trying to solve this issue.

M had been trying a meditation technique based on going backward through the day's experience. This led him to fall asleep. On waking he tried it again, and on this occasion eventually entered a new state where he felt he was engaging in a conversation, in which the other party was responding with intelligent answers.

L had found significance in the anecdote about the Transcaucasian Kurd, which portrays the tendency he is aware of in himself, to devote attention to things of low importance persistently rather than focus on what matters. This happens on many levels. How hard it is to let go of possessions which have been accumulated unnecessarily. How often do people eat food from the fridge which is past its sell-by date, rather than let it go? While the passage is a cautionary note to the prospective reader, it also refers to the psychological issue.

"R"'s main activity has been being with her mother who is rarely conscious now. Her work is to be physically present in her body whilst sitting, without speaking, trying to keep her mind from replaying old conversations. She puts her hand on her mother's shoulder, which is liked.

L read out the contribution from BS [Removed at the request of BS.]

There followed a general discussion in response to the two minute contributions.

Responding to "R", L mentioned that he has recently been reading a newly discovered suitcase of old family letters from thirty-five years ago. In one, a man in his eighties is reflecting that the only important thing is surviving the physical issues of each day. These are the things that matter most, rather than dreams and plans.

Developing his comments on meditation, M recalled a similar experience, in a dream, where he found himself in conversation with his grandfather (who was thought of as a wise rabbi), and said he wished he had been able to ask him questions whilst he was alive. His grandfather replied that he wished he had been around while Jesus was alive, as he would have wanted to ask him a thing or two!

Consideration was given to providing internet links for people who wished to attend remotely, although it was agreed that being in contact with others locally involved in the Work was important.

L said the Meetings were thus called advisedly, being an introduction to the ideas and writings of Gurdjieff, people humbly touching base each month to bring attention to the Work in an individual's everyday life; in contrast a "Gurdjieff Group" would describe a more dedicated approach involving Gurdjieff's "Movements" exercises. "R" explained that a Group would typically meet weekly, and involve preliminary discussions before a new member is admitted.

The reading of Beelzebub's Tales then continued. Based on earlier experience of M, in which a deck of playing cards was used to select randomly who reads next, it was decided on this occasion to read a paragraph in turn, clockwise round the table.

" ... I just now again remember the story of what happened to a Transcaucasian Kurd, ... in the market ... he noticed one 'fruit', very beautiful in both color and form, ... he decided to buy without fail at least one of these gifts of Great Nature, and taste it. ... very soon everything inside him began to burn. But in spite of this he kept on eating... a fellow villager of his ... said to him: 'What are you doing, you Jericho jackass? You'll be burnt alive!' ... But our Kurd replied: 'No, for nothing on Earth will I stop. Didn't I pay my last two cents for them? Even if my soul departs from my body I shall still go on eating.' "

B commented that it was hard to fathom the meaning apart from the obvious one of the hot red pepper story, and was also perplexed by Gurdjieff seeming to introduce and engage, but then turn away the reader.

T thought the anecdote was a parable about the text - that what it had to say should to be taken in small bites and only as a part of a complete meal. She then asked the question, but what in this context is the complete meal? She thought that everything outside of the reading of a text, i.e. the rest of one's life that is lived every day, makes up the whole meal.

L recalled Gurdjieff's advice at the beginning of the book to read it three times in different ways, and "R" read that section out. (See the June 2011 report, end of the second paragraph.)

The reading continued:

"And so, I have already composed in my head the plan and sequence of the intended expositions, but what form they will take on paper, I, speaking frankly, myself do not as yet know with my consciousness ... it will take the form of something which will be, so to say, 'hot', and will have an effect on the entirety of every reader such as the red pepper pods had on the poor Transcaucasian Kurd."

L suggested that Gurdjieff's aim was to reach the reader's subconscious.

T said that nine-tenths of Gurdjieff's writings do not seem to go in for her, and the one tenth is often only one or two grounded and maybe emotive words that stand out almost as if out of context, but which then lead her back to review the text again to see these familiar words in the broader or deeper text.

Focus and the Thoroughbred Donkey

The Meeting began with a consideration of an email from BS. [Removed at the request of BS.]

Each person present then gave a two minute account of relevant experience since the previous time.

M had been continuing to observe himself, and thought he might be starting to change his behaviour. T asked for an example and M gave eating chocolate. He was aware that there are two selves operating in him and the one that says "stop eating chocolate" is not in charge.

T cited the Julia Cameron work she has been doing which entails writing, as a brainstorming activity, on waking each morning. She has been doing this for a few years and part of the work is to review what she has written. She said that it was a shock to read some entries which passionately stated several ideas and plans to change daily life to help towards conserving her energy and leading a more sustainable life. She found one entry written in 2009 very similar to one that she entered recently with the same enthusiasm. This was direct evidence that two years had passed and the same helpful idea was present but the doing something to bring the helpful idea from fantasy to reality had not happened, and showed how much harder it is to achieve an intent.

L was finding it hard to focus on work, and experiencing greater resistance the further his work advanced. He found that the force of resistance was so strong that it even worked in the world outside the individual's inner experience, for example in the case of a phone ringing at a critical creative moment. He sometimes finds it easier to work when he is at home and someone is witness to it.

B was interested in the phenomenon of the different selves, and had been considering his roles as possible expressions of parts of himself he had been unaware of. L thought that acting was linked to the Work, in the sense that being able to take on other identities leads a person to reflect on the nature of their own identity. Acting a role fully might lead one to forget who one really is, and perhaps that is what has happened to us.

Attention then returned to continuing reading from Beelzebub's Tales, Chapter One, The Arousing of Thought.

... having warned you that I am going to write not as "professional writers" usually write but quite otherwise, I advise you, before embarking on the reading of my further expositions, to reflect seriously and only then to undertake it. If not,  ... you might lose your ... appetite ...

For such a possibility, ... I am ... already quite as convinced with my whole being as a "thoroughbred donkey" is convinced of the right and justice of his obstinacy.

B brought attention to Gurdjieff's description of the "professional writers" whom he appeared to be distancing himself from, and the thought provoking metaphor of the "thoroughbred donkey", which prompted a discussion.

M said "professional" means those who earn their living by writing. L mentioned the alternative meaning of professional, in terms of attitude, where an actor would learn a role, or a musician rehearse a part, until it is second nature, with money a secondary consideration. T said Gurdjieff is writing Beelzebub's Tales in a deliberately complex way to put off readers unless they are motivated to seek deeper meaning in the text.

T thought that for the artist, the "thoroughbred" was the idea of doing the creative deed which is much more seductive, exciting and attractive, and the "donkey" referred to the doing of an act which is much harder, less exciting, less seductive, and less attractive but gets the job done.

M said that the main thing is to have a purpose, and the purpose is to wake up.

L asked if that purpose might be in the creative arts, and quoted Henry Moore, the sculptor: The secret of life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for the rest of your life. And the most important thing is, it must be something you cannot possibly do.

M suggested these purposes might amount to the same thing.

Lost in Translation

As the Meeting began, "R" suggested the practice be resumed of having a silence, and it was agreed this would take place in future, and a silence of 2 minutes was observed, which might in the future be extended.

Each person present then gave a two minute account of relevant experience since the previous time, the purpose being to link the Meetings with ongoing life experience.

M said that on most days he spends some time in reflective consideration of things which have happened, of past behaviour. This sometimes feels like talking to somebody. He assesses how past patterns of behaviour can be changed in the future.

T has had an unusual month as she has been unwell for much of it. She has been trying to remember to do five minutes of piano playing as a will-power exercise. She has found that if planning any more than five minutes, she experiences much more resistance to even starting. She writes down that she will do it and then sees when she does it. She has also been trying to do one sun salutation in the morning before eating. She cannot do it after eating because of cramps, and several times experienced forgetting, and missed the one minute of yoga because she had eaten.

L mentioned how hard it is to find others in the Work - speaking with friends and family over the Christmas season he has realised that his interests in philosophy and art are not mirrored by them. "R" said it is easier to look for others than find oneself.

"R" talked of how hard it is to maintain attention, but maybe lack of attention is also important, as one of the three forces.

Following Nancy Kline's system, a discussion followed on issues raised.

M reiterated the importance of trying to change, no matter how hard this seems.

T has been reading her journal from two years before, which showed there has been little change.

L said the Meeting thus far had talked of the importance of trying to change, but also the futility of the attempt; if change was virtually impossible, and if human nature is likewise static, then war and conflict is a permanent aspect of humanity. M said change could happen slowly and L talked of the slow but observable influence of classical music on the whole world over the past few hundred years.

T gave by example the challenge of punctuality. M recommended saying "It is done" once one has decided to do something.

"R" said that over time change can happen, but is very difficult - the work is also about understanding as well as change. Change can happen in a religious context. Awareness needs attention.

In the interest of time, it was decided to dispense with the second round of accounts in the Meetings, and the focus moved to Beelzebub's Tales. Reading continued from Chapter One, The Arousing of Thought.

 ... "every stick always has two ends." ... if I ... take the good end of the stick, then the bad end must inevitably fall "on the reader's head."

Here Gurdjieff speaks of wishing to write in a language familiar to him, and issues of translating into languages of different cultures, or familiar languages whose usage has changed over time, issues magnified by the nature of the concepts he is to communicate.

... in Russian the so to say "niceties" of philosophical questions cannot be expressed, which questions I intend to touch upon in my writings also rather fully, whereas in Armenian, although this is possible, yet to the misfortune of all contemporary Armenians, the employment of this language for contemporary notions has now already become quite impracticable."

Though speaking fondly of Armenian, and his first tongue, Greek, he says:

That Greek language, the spirit and essence of which were transmitted to me by heredity, and the language now spoken by contemporary Greeks, are as much alike as, according to the expression of Mullah Nassr Eddin, "a nail is like a requiem."

He decides to "write partly in Russian and partly in Armenian" as among his pupils there are those whom he hopes "will be able to transcribe and translate from these languages fairly well".

T remarked that quite apart from the issues of translation, a second edition quickly followed the first in which the wording approved by Gurdjieff had been changed and simplified, whereas the more complex construction of the original text might have been for the purpose, as implied by the first chapter's title, of arousing thought. "R" explained that the second edition had resulted from a private exercise by students which was not intended for public distribution. As regards French and English translations, it was interesting that in French the words for "conscious" and "conscience" are very similar. L found it notable that Gurdjieff's original language was Greek, as the ancient mythology of the Muses is relevant to creativity and may relate with the Work.